So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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