Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
