angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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