i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
