he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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