Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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