I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
