the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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