Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
