Moan for me like Helen Keller
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
