how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
