'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
