no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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