jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
