I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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