the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
