I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
