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We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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