I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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