hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
