Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
40s are totally the cure
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
