he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
