I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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