No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
