ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
