Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
