just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
