Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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