It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
