The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
