I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
MIDGETS
????
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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