So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
