Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
