8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just threw up on my dentist
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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