She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
