I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
