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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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