Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
