Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
