what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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