I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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