she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
