Are we in a gay sports bar?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dicks are not precious.
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