i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
