We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
