If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
