I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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