We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
