I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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