Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
