That's when you crack a 10am beer
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
